[Note to the readers I’m not sure actually exist: if you were hoping that my posts relating to Crazy Love would somehow make it so you didn’t have to read it for yourselves, you are going to be disappointed. This post is my response to bits and pieces of chapters 2-4.]
I get stressed out rather easily.
I try to prevent the stress from happening by planning everything way in advance and putting even the tiniest details on my “to do” list. I do this because that way I am less likely to forget and because it makes me very happy when I can cross something off in Sharpie.
*I am currently going through a Sharpie phase. I LOVE THEM, especially the Sharpie pens. They’re all I use. They make my handwriting look so cool :)*
Despite all the planning, preparation, and hard work, I feel like I can never get it all done…as well I think it should be done, anyway. Typical firstborn? Probably. But I refuse to let that determine everything.
It’s finals week at William and Mary. In addition to research papers, exams, and a gigantic portfolio (which was done a week early — go team productivity!!), I am in my church’s Christmas concerts this weekend. I don’t need any more reasons to feel stressed or worried.
Last night was particularly rough, for reasons that I don’t need to mention. As I sat at my desk trying to decide which assignment to work on next, I heard it. That gentle voice that causes me to let go of the tension that I’d been carrying around for days.
“My dear girl, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
Just call me Martha.
I’ve failed to heed that voice many times before, but last night I listened. Instead, I got on my knees and gave Him the honor He deserves (well, probably not even close but I gave Him all I have). And I confessed the worry and the stress. Chan writes, ” Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.”
So what is His will for me? He makes it pretty clear.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”