Stellan, that precious baby boy, I wrote about in an earlier post, turns one tomorrow. What a precious miracle and blessing his life is.

And tonight, as I write this, he is once again fighting a hard battle, as his heart is in SVT. He is not doing well. If you read this, pray for this little one and his family. Click here to read his story.

Also, my mom turns ____ tomorrow 🙂 Happy Birthday Mom!!!

I had every intention of posting regularly this school year, but I never remember to do so.

My days consist of school, running, class, homework, and sleep. It’s really not that exciting.

I am running a half-marathon in March, so I am trying to be more consistent with my runs, but I’m not training for distance yet.

I love counseling in elementary school.

I am skipping class to hear Ravi Zacharias speak Tuesday night. I don’t think my professor is going to be too happy with me, but she’s the one that reminded us two weeks ago that we have one unexcused absence.

Next time, I will try to write something worth reading.

Yesterday, we remembered those lives lost in New York, Pennsylvania, and northern Virginia eight years ago.

Today, I remember a great man, who went to be with the Lord five years ago today. We weren’t related by blood, but he still made a point to tell me every time I saw him that he loved me and that I belonged to him.

Miss you, Houston. Can’t wait to see you again.

Every once in a while (ok, quite often) I am startled by the realization that I am dirt poor. This is a problem – not because I am poor, but because I often don’t think of myself as such and purchase things like grande extra hot non-fat with whip and caramel drizzle lattes. Oops. Someday, when I am an independently wealthy professional philanthropist, I will get the aforementioned drink every morning on my way to lead a Bible study at a homeless shelter or to read books to little kids in the hospital, but those days aren’t here yet and my spending habits don’t always reflect that.

Sunday afternoon I decided to start living frugally. So far I’ve done alright. I spent two hours printing out and cutting out coupons and signing up for free samples of just about anything I could find. Then I looked up a bunch of articles about how to save money. I have to say that I was disappointed with the suggestions I found. Here are some of the ones I remember…in no particular order.

1. Stop going out to dinner. (I already don’t go out to dinner.)
2. Stop ordering $10 cocktails at bars. (I drink Diet Coke at bars and don’t have to pay for it. The only time I drink at bars is if someone else is paying. Tacky? Perhaps, but that’s the truth.)
3. Don’t get your hair done at fancy places. (I get about two haircuts a year and it costs $13 at Supercuts. Granted, it’s not the best, but I am never disappointed. I also have never had my hair professionally highlighted or permed or anything else.)
4. Buy used furniture. (ummm, have you SEEN my living room?)
5. Buy the generic brand of everything. (Are you kidding me? Did anybody NOT know that already?!!?!)

I could go on, but my point is this: I am already doing all those things. Except for coupons.

I don’t like coupons. Not because you hold up the checkout line, but because I don’t think they save you money when you live alone. In fact, most of the time I end up buying things I never would have bought otherwise simply due to the fact that I had a coupon for it. As my dad has said over and over, “It’s not a good deal if you’re spending money on something you weren’t planning to get.” I know somebody that recently purchased $280 worth of items for $38….that’s great. I’d be thrilled too. But does anyone really need 13 bottles of Axe shower gel? I think I’d get bored of using it before I ran out and throw it away.

If I really wanted to save money, there are some steps I could take. The problem is that I don’t want to make the necessary changes.

1. Stop drinking coffee and soda. I’d save about $20-25 a month. Water is better for me anyway. Unfortunately, this will not be happening unless Congress legalizes and a doctors prescribes me cocaine or speed for medicinal purposes.

2. Stop coloring my hair. No. My hair is a fashion accessory. You may find this strange, but coloring my hair a fun, neutral color every 6 weeks is a relaxing, stress-relieving luxury that is worth every one of the 700 pennies it costs.

3. Get rid of cable/internet. I could live without it. I would have to relearn how to spend time doing productive things, but it would save quite a bit of money. Unfortunately, this would require my roommates to also make this change and I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Conclusion: I am just going to stay dirt poor for at least another 11 months.

These aren’t my thoughts. They belong to others – those far wiser than I with better written communication skills.

I’ve been pondering these this week. I hope they challenge you, as well.

“If a commission by an earthly king is considered an honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?” (David Livingstone)

————————————————————————

“The love for equals is a human thing. The love of a friend for a friend, a brother for a brother – it is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles.

“The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing – the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. this is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world.

“The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing – to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints.

“And then there is the love for the enemy – love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured’s love for the torturer. This is God’s love. It conquers the world.” (Buechner)

I absolutely love the hymn that I am using as the theme for this post (confession: I’d love it more if somebody gave it a new tune). I have been in awe of God’s faithfulness over the past 15 months. I feel compelled to write this so that I don’t forget that through every trial He has been there, the rider on the white horse, Faithful and True. He has met every need at just the right time, not a single minute late.

Sometimes a light surprises the Christian while he sings;
It is the Lord Who rises with healing in His wings:
When comforts are declining, He grants the soul again
A season of clear shining, to cheer it after the rain.

The past few months have brought sorrow, but lately I have been, to borrow from CS Lewis, surprised by joy. Moments of brightness, of unexpected reasons to celebrate. From a good conversations with an old friend, to making new friends who share your passion for Jesus and orphans, there have been many days this summer when I have paused to marvel at how much I am loved…

In holy contemplation we sweetly then pursue
The theme of God’s salvation, and find it ever new;
Set free from present sorrow, we cheerfully can say,
Let the unknown tomorrow bring with it what it may.

Tomorrow can bring us nothing, but He will bear us through:
Who gives the lilies clothing will clothe His people, too:
Beneath the spreading heavens no creature but is fed;
And He Who feeds the ravens will give His children bread.

I have been particularly amazed by the way God has provided for me the past few months. Because of the economy and budget cuts, my assistantship position was dissolved for this year and I am going to graduate with more debt than I had originally planned. Not the end of the world, but still frustrating. This is going to be a very lean and difficult year, and yet I can smile because I know that it only is one year and then I will have a job that gives me enough money that I can go see a movie once in a blue moon without feeling guilty about it. This summer I accepted a part-time nanny position that was going to provide me with just enough money to live on. I was very concerned when I discovered that I was going to be working far less than I’d anticipated. But God came through. Another family asked me to be their backup nanny and then their real nanny quit unexpectedly. So while I wasn’t at my “real job”, I was still working and made just enough to live on. That family moved last Monday, and I was very worried about how I would make it through August financially. I shouldn’t have worried. The very next day, I got a phone call from the original family. They’re going to need me a lot more in these next few weeks. I was shocked. I guess I shouldn’t have been. God knew exactly what I needed and provided it – no more, but certainly not less – because He’s cool like that.

Though vine nor fig tree neither their wonted fruit should bear,
Though all the fields should wither, nor flocks or herds be there
Yet, God the same abiding, His praise shall tune my voice;
For, while in Him confiding, I cannot but rejoice.

I read once that nothing makes you love someone more than spending time on your knees in prayer for him.

In the case of this little boy, I have to say it’s true.

I first “met” Stellan a year ago, when his mom Jennifer was 22 weeks pregnant with him. Stellan’s heart was beating way too fast and he was in total heart failure. At 24 weeks (a year ago tomorrow), doctors told Jennifer and Israel that their son would not be born alive. There was nothing they could do.

This is the sentence in the story that, if it were in the Bible, would begin with my favorite phrase.

BUT GOD is able. And God healed Stellan. A healthy, happy baby boy was born on October 29 of last year, with no sign of the supraventricular tachycardia that he experienced in utero. His big brothers and sister got to hold him and play with him.

It wasn’t until March that we discovered that Stellan’s healing wasn’t quite what we thought it was. The SVT returned (a statistical anomaly – but I can’t explain it because I’m not a doctor) and Stellan spent over a month in various hospitals, fighting for his life.

Since then, Stellan has been closely monitored and his SVT controlled by medications. But now he is back in the hospital fighting for his life. He is being airlifted to Boston today for a very risky surgery that is the only option. The past 48 hours have been very tough.

I’m still surprised at how deeply I care about this little boy. I have never met him, and I seriously doubt I ever will. But I have been praying for him since before he was born and I have watched him grow through the daily pictures on his mom’s blog.

If you’re reading this, stop and pray for this little boy. Pray with confidence, because there are two things I know.

1. Stellan will be healed.
2. Stellan will live.

We just don’t know when. We don’t know how. We don’t know where.

But STELLAN WILL LIVE!

Ummm, Mr. President….?

I wrote a little while ago about identity, and how I often struggle to believe that I am who God says I am. I am amazed that He can look past what is (the desolate wasteland) and see what it’s supposed to be…what it will be.

Today our wonderful pastor pointed out yet another instance of this in Scripture. I’ve heard Gideon’s story countless times. I love it. Israel is oppressed by the Midianites, not because the Midianites are so evil (though they are) but because Israel has once again turned away from the Lord and He is allowing the oppression in order to woo her back. Gideon is told that he will lead Israel to victory. Gideon whines about how weak he is. He asks for a sign. He gets his sign. He asks for another one. He gets that one, too.

Just have to insert a comment here. My dear friend Kim Thomas gave a very funny commentary on this story once. “I never got Gideon’s fleece, I mean, I understood the concept, I just never understood why he needed a second go at the whole test. Maybe he was just wasting time. Also, if I was testing God I think I would ask for something better than a wet fleece, I think that if God told me to rescue my people I would test Him by asking for a rich, hot man to come down from the sky and propose to me, just saying…”

So Gideon finally decides to go along with the whole thing. He starts with 32,000 men. God sends the scared ones away, followed by the ones with bad table manners. He’s left with 300. God wins. The Israelites live happily ever after…or just until they forget a few years later and make the same mistakes all over again.

I was trying to make a point here. Oh, yes. Identity. I guess in my mental movie of this story I’ve always just assumed Gideon was scared or lazy. Judges 6:11-12 offers a different image.

¹¹Now the angel of the LORD came and sat under the terebinth at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash^A)”>(A) the Abiezrite, while his son^B)”>(B) Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. ¹²And^C)”>(C) the angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him,^D)”>(D) “The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor.”

When the Lord finds Gideon, he’s hiding in a pit, trying to get food for his family that the Midianites can’t take away. Not exactly a picture of courage. And yet the angel of the Lord refers to him as a “mighty man of valor” (ESV), a “man of fearless courage” (amplified), a “mighty warrior” (NIV). I think it’s ok to laugh at the irony as long as we realize that the same can be said of us. The man hiding in a shallow pit is indeed remembered as a mighty warrior of fearless courage. The small boy who played music for his sheep defeated a giant and became the greatest king of Israel.

They may not have believed it, but they were, because He said they were.

And so am I, because He says so.

When can I go back?