Never Taking Off Work Again

I wish I had pictures of the inside of my office as it appeared Monday morning upon my return from St. Louis.  Randy, Joey, and Mat turned everything — and I really mean everything — in my office upside down while I was gone.  They also took apart my desk chair and put an alarm clock in the celing.

Alas, the only picture I have is this one that they sent to my phone Friday afternoon with a note that said they missed me…and I should probably get to work early Monday to clean up the mess.

As difficult as some aspects of this job have been, I love my coworkers and am so thankful for them.  These three are like older brothers to me.  They also remind me of Larry, Darrell and his other brother Darrell.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this video.

Why Can’t I Ever Remember to Blog?

Seriously.

There are so many great stories I could tell about work and life lately.  This blog could be extremely entertaining.  Unfortunately, I never have my camera with me to capture the moments (or I don’t remember to take it out of my purse and snap a photo), and then I forget to write about it later.

I run out of energy and don’t feel like sitting at the computer when I get home from work.

So I’m sorry.  I will try to do better.  This past week would have been a great one to blog about (spirit week at school — crazy outfits and some of the best office pranks of all time)….but I fail at life and didn’t think to take any pictures and I’m too tired to type it all out now.

This week will be amazing, too.  I work three days this week, and on Tuesday the kids have the day off for Election Day (get out and vote, people, especially if you happen to live in Colorado Springs — vote for Owen Hill for State Senate)!  Then on Thursday I fly to St. Louis for Laura Mark’s wedding.  I am so excited to see her and Adam get married, and to catch up with some of my dearest Grove City friends!

I WILL take my camera with  me and I WILL take pictures and I WILL blog about it all when I get back!

Hold You Up

I rediscovered Matthew West this week and I am loving it.

His love songs are just beautiful and they also look upward at the end.  I find this one particularly fantastic.

It’s Only a Season

Next Wednesday marks the end of our first nine week grading period.  I can’t believe we’re already about one quarter of the way through this school year. 

My job is so much more difficult than I ever imagined.  My students have a lot of really serious problems, and I don’t feel equipped to handle any of it.  Just when I think we’ve hit rock bottom and it can’t get any worse, it does.  I’m trying really hard to not become completely discouraged…to not complain about the way things are right now.  I don’t like my job right now. 

It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially because I was so thoroughly convinced that this is where God was calling me.  I don’t feel like I’m making a difference here at all.  I got some news yesterday about some upcoming staff changes that made me feel more alone in this battle than ever. 

I need to spend less time worrying and complaining and more time on my knees.  I want the confidence that I had when I moved here three months ago. 

The following verses were shared with me on Sunday, and they have offered such comfort. 

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6-7)

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 1:3-4)

“In this your greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – thing about such things.” (Philippians 4:4-8)

Digging Deep

I love my job, but it is so much more challenging than I ever thought it would be.

So many of my students are deeply wounded.

It’s hard to know where to begin sometimes.

At the same time, I feel even more strongly that this is right where God wants me.

Still, by Friday evening I am emotionally drained and exhausted…

I am reminded of a story I read once about a young person working in ministry.  His “well” was running dry and yet the demand for water kept increasing.  In desperation, he turned to an older woman and asked, “Can’t someone else fill my cup so that I can keep pouring out?”  Her response, “Dig deeper.”

I am thankful for the weekends and purposefully set aside time for rest.  I also turn to the Spring of Living Water, and dig deeper.  My students don’t have anything to draw with and the well is deep…

I will go to Jacob’s well
To fill my cup with Living Water
From the stream that has no end
And I will thirst again no more

…This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow…

My Unworthy Soul is Won

Yesterday one of our seniors committed suicide.  Those that were close to him are now experiencing the pain of loss and the guilt of wondering what signs they missed and what they should have done. 

The truth is we don’t know why and we probably never will.  The truth is that not one of his friends is somehow at fault because of something said or something left undone.  The truth is that this young man was in pain but chose to suffer in silence.  He is the only one who knows the answers to our questions and he’s not here to answer them.

I think the greatest tragedy in this life is for a soul to get to the end of its days and never know the Love of God that transcends all time and space.  Love that was there before the foundation of the world…that will remain when this earth is gone.  Love that can heal any hurt.  Love that is poured out for all….not because of who WE are but because of what HE has done. 

Lord, let me love others with the Love You have poured out on my unworthy soul.  May they come to know This Love…

Bring the Rain

Isaiah 57:1-2 “The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.”

“Show Me” (Audrey Assad)

You could plant me like a tree beside a rive
You could tangle me in soil and let my rocks run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I”ll illuminate the path You’ve laid before me
But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing by the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me