What I Read: February 2016

Snow days and sick days meant for unexpected time to read in the last four weeks.  I suppose I could finish another book in the remaining 48ish hours in February, but I shouldn’t.  I have several papers that I should be writing, but instead I am typing this post while binge-watching Fuller House on Netflix.  It is so cheesy but I love it.

Without further ado, here’s what I read this month:

  • Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream of You (Stasi Eldredge) – This book was too emotional for me.  Not wrong with it necessarily, but didn’t speak to me.
  • Catching Up or Leading the Way: American Education in the Age of Globalization (Yong Zhao) – I read this for a class I’m taking this semester.  Zhao offers an interesting perspective on the perceived positives and negatives in the world of education.  A good read.
  • The Antelope in the Living Room: the real story of two people sharing one life (Melanie Shankle) – Melanie Shankle, a.k.a. Big Mama, is a hilarious writer.  This book made me laugh out loud more times than I can count.  She just mentioned in her podcast that she is working on another book and I cannot wait.
  • Bread & Wine: a Love Letter to Life Around the Table (Shauna Niequist) – This is a book about food.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  Food, fellowship, hospitality, friendship.  I haven’t loved all of Niequist books but I enjoyed this one and will be trying some of the recipes at the end of each chapter.
  • Born Survivors: Three Young Mothers and Their Extraordinary Story of Courage, Defiance, and Hope (Wendy Holden) – this nonfiction work tells the stories of three women who gave birth while in concentration camps.  A hard read, but one of good triumphing over evil.  In a lot of ways, my mind can’t even fathom the depth of the suffering detailed in this book.
  • Deculturalization and the Struggle for Equality: A Brief History of the Education of Dominated Cultures in the United States (Joel Spring) – this was another book I had to read for class.  It gave me a lot to think about, especially given our current political climate.
  • A Charlie Brown Religion: Exploring the Spiritual Life and Work of Charles M. Schulz (Stephen J. Lind) – I go to church with the author of this book.  While I don’t love cartoons, I appreciate Peanuts and found Schulz’s internal struggles quite fascinating.
  • Knowing God (J.I. Packer) – this book blew my mind.  I am rereading it right now because it was like trying to drink from a fire hydrant.  I understand why this book, written several decades ago, remains so popular.  I’ve learned so much.
  • Me Before You (JoJo Moyes) – I bought this book a long time ago and finally got around to reading it this week while sitting on the couch to sick to move. This book is beautiful, funny, moving, and exceptionally sad.  I have the sequel on hold at the library and look forward to seeing how this story ends.

And there you have it.  16 books so far in 2016.

Sunday Song: Somewhere in the Middle

This song describes so much of my life in this moment.  I find myself caught in the middle in so many ways.  I work in a middle school — every day I’m helping kids who are caught in the middle between youth and adolescence find words to describe their emotions.  My coworkers also come to me to express their frustrations; in adult drama, too, I am caught in the middle.

In my spiritual life….walking on this narrow road…waiting for the day when faith becomes sight….when I finally see Him face to face.  I am caught in the middle between dim sight and full understanding.

It’s a beautifully frustrating tension.  His kingdom: already here and not yet consummated. He makes Himself known, but only partly.  He reveals His will and yet I don’t always recognize the purpose.

Do I believe Him? Do I trust Him?  Not just in this, or for that, but in all things at all times? Do I believe that He is for me?  That His grace is enough?

“Hope shall change to glad fruition//Faith to sight and prayer to praise”

“Somewhere In The Middle”

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

Sunday Song: Don’t Let Me Lose My Wonder

Today’s song is simply beautiful.

Again, it speaks to this mystery I see daily — a God of all glory who makes Himself small.  Evidence of Him is everywhere.  May I never cease to find it.

You can listen to the song here.

Don’t Let me Lose my Wonder (Keith and Kristyn Getty)

I’ve seen days melt into nights
In circles of lights
I’ve watched a spider spin a star

Between the window box flowers
I’ve heard you laugh and cry
In a single sigh
And a story form within

Don’t let me lose my wonder
Don’t let me lose my wonder

I saw her broken dreams inside
But helping others fly
I saw his eyes without a doubt
Though other lights faded out
And though her calling roared
Such graciousness poured
From the vision of her soul

Don’t let me lose my wonder
Don’t let me lose my wonder

A baby cried through the dark
Beneath a jeweled spark
I knew Your voice upon the hill
And heard my lostness still
I found my home in the light
Where wrong was made right
And You rose as the morning star

Don’t let me lose my wonder
Don’t let me lose my wonder

My Hope for the 30s

I turned 30 on Monday.  It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all. Thanks to my wonderful family and friends, I celebrated all weekend and felt loved and richly blessed.

Still, there is something bittersweet about a new season, a new era.  My twenties were nothing as I’d hoped or imagined.  Some of my deepest longings are still unfulfilled.  Yet God is faithful.  While these past ten years did not go the way I planned, it hasn’t been all bad.  I have strong relationships with my now adult siblings, a great job, a wonderful church family, and more blessings than I can count.

God’s goodness will continue through the next ten years. I have dreams of what they will bring, and at this moment, I will be devastated if these dreams are still just dreams at 40. But even if He does not….He is still good.  I will praise Him.

On the morning of my birthday I looked through Scripture to find His promises for my thirties.  Not promises of health and wealth, not even happiness or family.

These are the promises to which I will cling:

  • He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion (Philippians 1:6)
  • I have a beautiful inheritance (Psalm 16:6)
  • He will make known to me the path of life (Psalm 16:11)
  • No good thing will He withhold (Psalm 84:11)
  • He will give me songs in the night (Job 35:10)
  • I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13)

 

Sunday Song: God Forbid

He is personal yet incomprehensible.

Full of mercy and yet the Righteous Judge.

Abounding love and unrelenting anger.

Gentle and all-powerful.

 

It is far too easy to focus on His smallness at the expense of His overwhelming greatness.  Our minds simply cannot understand fully, so we tend to hold on to what makes sense in our minds. I don’t want to make Him small.  He will not fit into a human mold.

He must become greater, I must become less.

This song captures the tension beautifully.  [click on the song title for a link to youtube]

God Forbid – Point of Grace

The more I know Your power Lord, the more I’m mindful
How casually we speak and sing Your name
How often we have come to You with no fear or wonder
And called upon You only for what we stand to gain

Lord, I often talk about Your love and mercy
How it seems to me, Your goodness has no end
It frightens me to think that I could take You for granted
Though You’re closer than a brother, you are more than just my friend

God forbid that I find You so familiar
That I think of You as less than who You are
God forbid, that I should speak of You at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart, God forbid

You are Father, God Almighty, Lord of Lords, You’re King of Kings
Beyond my understanding, no less than everything

God forbid that I find You so familiar
That I think of You as less than who You are
God forbid, that I should speak of You at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart
God forbid, God forbid, God forbid

Whiter than Snow

fe629-finn1

This dog, y’all.  He’s honestly one of the best things in my life.  He’s a joy and a comfort and, oddly enough, God has used him to teach me so much of His truth in the last four years.

Consider this the first in a series of posts I’ll call “Lessons from my Dog”.

Finn loves a good snowstorm, especially when the snow is fresh and the plow hasn’t gone through the neighborhood.  It is so fun to watch him run at full speed up and down our empty street.

One thing that always strikes me during that first snowstorm of the year is how he stands out against the white snow.  I often think of him as a white dog, but the reality is he’s a dirty blonde. 🙂

He really does stick out like a sore thumb.

I can’t help but think about what Scripture says about us when I compare Finn to the fresh snow.

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” (Psalm 51:7)

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow…” (Isaiah 1:18)

We are filthy when compared to God’s holiness.  Only He can clean us and make us white as snow.  At best, all our good works can only make us as white as Finn.  We look good at first glance, but when held up against the standard, we are actually complete frauds.

Isaiah says it this way: “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

Purify me, Lord. Wash me white as snow. It is only by Your grace that I am saved.

Sunday Song: Psalm 62

Today’s song is inspired by all that I’ve learned in January….which resulted in the new blog.  I don’t know much, but He’s proved Himself more than worthy of all my praise.  I will trust Him.

[I can’t figure out how to embed a YouTube video, so this link will have to do]: Psalm 62 – Aaron Keyes

Psalm 62: My Savior, My God

My soul finds rest in God alone, my rock and my salvation
A fortress strong against my foes and I will not be shaken
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse
And lies like arrows pierce me
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness, I’ll look to Him who hears me

O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God

Find rest, my soul, in God alone amid the world’s temptations
When evil seeks to take a hold I’ll cling to my salvation
Though riches come and riches go, don’t set your heart upon them
The fields of hope in which I sow are harvested in heaven

O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God

I’ll set my gaze on God alone and trust in Him completely
With every day pour out my soul and He will prove His mercy

Though life is but a fleeting breath, a sigh too brief to measure
My King has crushed the curse of death and I am His forever

O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God
O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God

O praise Him, O praise Him, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
O praise Him, O praise Him, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
O praise Him, O praise Him, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God
O praise Him, Hallelujah, my Delight and my Reward
Everlasting, never failing, my Redeemer, my God

What I Read: January 2016

I don’t have a reading goal for 2016 other than to just keeping reading.  I doubt I will get to 100 books again, but then again, I never thought I would last year either.  Somehow I ended up reading seven books this month!

  • The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) – I read this at the recommendation of the “All the Books” podcast. I guess Atwood is a legend and this is the book they suggested as a starting point.  This is an interesting take on a dystopian society (written over twenty years ago) but I’m not sure I want to read anymore of her work.
  • Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing (Jamie Holmes) – a very enjoyable and informative read.  I posted a review a few days ago.
  • Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection (Edward T. Welch) – last year I read Welch’s book about depression and found it helpful.  This book blows the other one away.  Powerful stuff.  Best book I read this month and one of my all-time favorites.  I highly recommend this to everyone.
  • As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust (Alan Bradley) – I’m not sure I like the new arc Bradley has chosen in the Flavia series, but I love her character so much I will read the next book when it is released.
  • From Fear to Freedom: Living as Sons and Daughters of God (Rose Marie Miller) – didn’t love it, didn’t hate it.  I certainly learned from it, but for a relatively short book it felt like it dragged on.
  • The Lake House (Kate Morton) – This is my favorite fiction book I read this month.  It is a mystery that flips back and forth between past and present.  Morton keeps you in suspense until the end.  **Not a gory book…suspense without any horror or violence**
  • Fates & Furies (Lauren Groff) – I did not like this book.  It’s received mostly positive reviews but overall the storyline left me feeling dirty and gross.  I did like the way she divided the book into two parts, and told essentially the same story through the eyes of two people.

So there you have it.  I can’t wait to share more books with you in a month!

This Cloudy Glass

I finally bit the bullet and bought a domain.  I’ve want to do this for a while but could never decide on a name.  My blog topics fluctuated so frequently and I hadn’t figured out my niche (maybe I still haven’t).  I only knew I didn’t want the site to be named after me because I would like to keep some semblance of privacy on the internet.

Then on Monday I figured it out.  Or figured out that I will never have any of it figured out.  And that’s it!

This Cloudy Glass is a play on 1 Corinthians 13:12.  I am a thinker and a dreamer and I read and study and try my best to figure out God.  All my knowledge is but an imperfect glimpse through a dirty mirror, through stained glass.  My perceptions, even in my greatest moments of clarity, are grossly distorted.

I chose the name as a constant reminder that I will never full know in this life.  It is a call to humility and a call to keep seeking the One who reveals Himself.  It is a call to be content with not knowing everything and hold fast to what can be known.

As David says in Psalm 131:

My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.

Not everything on this blog will be deep, but I will begin to share more of these glimpses, imperfect as they may be.

I am simply one poor beggar telling another where I’ve found bread.

"Not Knowing is Half the Fun"

Anyone out there get my Big Bang Theory reference in the title?

I don’t remember the storyline of the episode, but Penny tells Sheldon, “Not knowing is half the fun!”  His reply: “Was that the motto of your community college?”

Hilarious.

Anyway, I picked up this book because the title reminded me of that scene.

Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing

Jamie Holmes nailed it with the title and his book did not disappoint.  Holmes makes a somewhat difficult topic easily accessible to anyone with his down-to-earth writing style.  He appeals to enthusiasts of psychology, art, education, history and science in one fell swoop.

The two highlights of this book for me were the chapter about Waco and his applications for educators, the former because I didn’t realize how little I knew about the events in Waco and the latter for obvious reasons.

This review is intentionally vague because Holmes covers so much ground in a little over 200 pages.  You just need to read it for yourself.

And, I would argue that if Holmes had been in the room with Penny and Sheldon, he would have said, “not knowing is ALL the fun.”

***I received a copy of this book from http://www.bloggingforbooks.com in exchange for this review.***